


boyshapedlovedrug

by Green



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-30
Updated: 2012-04-30
Packaged: 2017-11-04 14:42:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/395000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Green/pseuds/Green
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, just … <em>bam</em>. It hit Mikey like a missile.</p>
            </blockquote>





	boyshapedlovedrug

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lucifuge5](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucifuge5/gifts).



Mikey isn’t sleeping that great. Between the late nights sitting around with the band, working on the new album, the dreams and uncontrollable erections (and all the fapping), Mikey’s feeling like hell.

He can’t blame it on the band. It’s not the music. It’s the dreams. No, it’s Frank, specifically, who’s giving him the dreams and making him sleep restlessly and fueling the fapping.

Of course, Frank doesn’t know anything about this newfound obsession -- and it is new, about a week or so, although Mikey can definitely admit that he’s been attracted (without the insane obsession) for years. It’s only just recently that Mikey’s had a revelation of sorts. It started when Frank was talking about a melody, humming and then picking it out on the guitar. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, just … _bam_. It hit Mikey like a missile. Sudden, intense attraction that went beyond everyday want. This was, and is, need like Mikey’s never experienced. It’s bad enough to keep him either awake and yearning or dreaming restlessly all night. Mikey’s been in love before, this goes even beyond that. This is something Mikey can’t even describe, even to himself.

Anyway, Frank doesn’t know. And that’s the way Mikey aims to keep it. Because for one, it would probably fuck up the band. And for two, Frank just isn’t into him.

The awesomegood part is that Mikey can fantasize all he wants and jerk off to FrankFrankFrank as much as humanly possible. And he does, because Frank’s around every corner wherever Mikey goes, and sometimes just looking at him makes Mikey hard.

It’s the tattoos, Mikey thinks sometimes, when he’s being shallow. But then something inside of him reminds him that it’s so much more. Maybe it’s the way Frank throws himself into everything he does. He never half-asses anything. When Frank wants something or loves something, he is completely on board. Focused. Totally, unflinchingly _there_. 

Fuck, Mikey wants to be wanted and loved like that.

* * *

The thing about being as close to your brother as Mikey is to Gerard is that you can never keep a secret to yourself. Ever. Mikey knows all of Gerard’s secrets and Gerard knows all of Mikey’s. Even when Mikey is hiding a secret and thinks he’s being sneaky about it, Gerard always, always finds out.

Eventually.

“You look a little pale lately. Pal _er_ ,” Gerard says, and it’s only been a week since Mikey started this secret hotFrankhard pining, how is that even fair? “And I know you aren’t sleeping because you’ve got concealer under your eyes. Don’t think I can’t recognize the signs, Mikey. Now tell me what’s up.” He looks into Mikey’s eyes, all brotherly concern and curiosity and Mikey has to look away from that because he’s scared Gerard’s suddenly learned Legilimency. Yeah, Mikey knows there’s no such thing, but he swears sometimes that Gee can penetrate his mind and get right to the heart of the matter. Gerard says, “Look at me.”

“No?” Mikey says, but he’s crumbling already.

“Is it serious?” Gerard asks. 

Mikey doesn’t know how to answer. Is it serious or is it just a phase, just a week of insane fantasy that doesn’t really mean anything important? He bites his lip and shrugs, even though he knows it’s as serious as he can get. 

“Is it...” Gerard’s voice is a little thick and he clears his throat. “Is it your health or something like that?”

That makes Mikey look at him. “No, Gee, nothing like that.”

Gerard lets out a breath and nods. “Okay. So tell me what it is.”

“Can you just let it go, this time?” Mikey asks. His voice isn’t weak or whiny, he’s careful about that, but he feels his resolve melting away and he can tell Gerard knows it.

“You’re embarrassed,” Gerard says quietly. “Whatever it is, you’re really embarrassed. C’mon, Mikes, you know I won’t laugh.”

Mikey runs a hand through his hair and sighs. Maybe he can just give Gerard a partial truth. “I have a crush on someone. It’s nothing. It’ll go away.” Except yeah, it might not. But then again, it’s only been a week since the idea of actual fucking (hard, fast, focused fucking) entered his mind. He blushes at the thought and his dick twitches in his jeans.

“Who?” Gerard asks.

Mikey groans. “It doesn’t matter.”

“I think it does. I think this crush is more than just a crush and you are doing some major pining. If you could see yourself...”

“It’s just. A crush. Okay?” Mikey says haltingly. “And it’s completely unrequited, and I mean _completely_ , so it doesn’t matter who it is or … anything else.”

Gerard stares at him. Hard. Mikey’s mind flits erractically from memory to memory of himself jerking off to pictures and videos of Frank. He knows he’s been staring at Frank a lot, and trying desperately not to, so much that a couple of times Frank has thought he wasn’t even paying attention. Mikey thinks of that, and all the other embarrassing moments he’s been trying to hide.

“You are such a _liar_ ,” Gerard says with a dramatic gasp. “This is serious, and there’s more to it than you’re saying. But... I’m going to let you keep your big unrequited love secret. For now. Even though I know you’d feel better if you got it off your chest. Which of course you should keep in mind. However, if I see this fucking with your life, and that includes the music, I’m forcing you to tell me. That’s a promise.”

“Yeah, okay,” Mikey says, half relieved and half disappointed. He wishes he could tell Gerard. But then, well, Gerard would get _involved_. He might even tell Frank -- well, not directly, Gerard isn’t a douche about secrets. But he’d start dropping hints and Frank would eventually catch on and … then what? Mikey can only imagine complete and utter humiliation.

* * *

So, okay, now Gerard knows something is going on, but he keeps his promise and doesn’t squeeze it out of Mikey. Mikey keeps up his part by making sure it doesn’t fuck with his life. He tries to go to bed early and get more sleep, but Gerard keeps having late-night spurts of creative genius, and the rest of the band is just along for the ride... at first. But then Mikey starts really getting into everything Gerard has been trying to say about the new album, and it isn’t long until Ray and Frank figure it out, too. Then it starts coming together, all of them contributing to their own parts and to the whole. It’s awesome, it’s the best they’ve done, Mikey is sure of that. 

Watching Frank work is awesome, too. He gets intense and focused in that way that Mikey loves, even while he cracks jokes and gently teases Ray about his hair. It’s an old joke, but somehow Frank makes it fresh and hilarious. Mikey laughs, loudly, and in an embarrassing move even for Mikey, snorts and almost honks. Seriously, he sounds like a goose even to himself. Everyone goes quiet and looks at Mikey, which makes him duck his head and cover his face with his hand. Then they all laugh again, practically falling over themselves. Mikey has to admit it’s pretty funny.

But then they’re back to business, and Mikey can watch Frank all he wants -- subtly, covertly, like he’s a spy highly trained for surveillance -- and when Mikey has a new idea, Frank focuses on _him_. Mikey tries not to let the situation pull him in, but Frank leans in and their knees touch while Mikey’s talking. Frank’s eyes are intent and fuck, almost hungry. Mikey forgets what he was saying and leans in, too, trailing off. 

Frank gets a wrinkle between his eyebrows and says, “And then...?”

Mikey swallows hard and wonders what his face has shown, and shakes his head. He looks at Ray, who’s still waiting for Mikey to go on, his head tilted comically. And then -- and this is the mistake -- Mikey looks at Gerard.

“ _Oh_ ,” Gerard says, and fuck, he knows. 

“Gee...” Mikey says, begging him.

“Oh, what?” Frank says. 

Gerard smirks but quickly covers it up with a purse of his lips.

“I still don’t get it,” Ray says. 

And then Gerard, who is the best brother ever, totally covers for Mikey by expanding on his idea, which is exactly what Mikey was thinking, really, how the fuck does Gerard even do that? But he’s right, and the idea is awesome, and then everyone is looking back and forth between them like they’re geniuses. 

But after the meeting, when Frank and Ray have left and Mikey is trying to slip out the door without a big confrontation, Gerard calls him out.

“Frank?” he says. “Your big secret unrequited love is Frank?”

Mikey can feel himself turning red. He mumbles, “Yeah.”

“This is great!” Gerard says. “I mean, the whole you pining away for weeks and losing sleep and who knows what else must’ve sucked for you, but now that I know the truth we can do something about this and-”

“ _No_ ,” Mikey says. The last thing he wants is for Frank to find out about this.

Gerard cocks his head and echoes, “No?”

Mikey shakes his head hard. “I don’t want him finding out.”

“Well, I wouldn’t _tell_ him. You know I wouldn’t do it like that,” Gerard says. He sounds hurt.

Mikey still has his hand on the doorknob but Gerard is totally blocking his way now. 

“Let me put out a few feelers, Mikey,” Gerard says. 

“No. No feelers, no hints, no … no getting us alone in a room and locking the door,” Mikey says. It sounds ludicrous but Mikey knows his brother and that’s probably exactly what Gerard has planned.

The look on Gerard’s face shows Mikey he is entirely justified. “I wasn’t...”

“You were,” Mikey says. “Promise you won’t take this anywhere. Promise.”

“C’mon, Mikes,” Gerard says, trying to wheedle permission to pull crazy romantic comedy antics. “It isn’t fair that you have to … to _pine_ away for someone when it’s possible he’d be on board with it!”

Mikey has a flash of fantasy tattooed hands holding him down and has to close his eyes. What if Gerard is right? What if there’s a possibility? What if Frank...

Against his better judgment, against the voice screaming in his head, against all that is right and true, Mikey hangs his head in defeat and whispers, “Okay.”

* * *

Mikey spends the next week trying not to cringe whenever he sees Gerard or Frank. Gerard wouldn’t tell, of course he wouldn’t, but Mikey can’t help but worry that he has.

Frank notices and finally confronts Mikey. Mikey realizes this is the only way it had to go. Because of course Frank would notice Mikey acting weird and of course Frank would want to talk about it.

“So what’s the problem, Mikeyway?” Frank asks. It’s a friendly question, probably just concerned, but to Mikey it sounds accusatory so he gets defensive.

“No problem, why do you think there’s a problem when there’s no problem?” Mikey says quickly. He hears it and realizes he doesn’t even sound like himself. Great.

“That. That is what I’m talking about. What the fuck, Mikey?” Frank asks. He takes Mikey’s arm and leads him over to Gerard’s couch, then gently pushes him down to sit. Mikey swallows hard and tries not to think about being manhandled by Frank.

“I don’t...” Mikey says weakly.

“You’re blushing now, did you know that?” Frank says. He’s sitting beside him so that Mikey can feel the heat coming off Frank’s skin, right through their clothes. Sure, they’ve been this close before, but it feels brand new. Mikey feels like he’s never been so near to someone like this before, like it’s the first time ever that he’s gotten close to what he wants.

“I’m not...” Mikey mumbles.

“Oh, yes you are,” Frank says, and he’s always been a touchy-feely motherfucker, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that he reaches up and runs a fingertip over Mikey’s cheekbone.

Mikey shivers. 

Frank raises his eyebrows and lets his finger trail down to Mikey’s collar. Mikey closes his eyes and tries to get a handle on his feelings.

“Look at me,” Frank says. “I think I know what this is about, but-” He cuts himself off when Mikey turns his head to look at Frank. Mikey’s helpless, he knows he shouldn’t let Frank _see_. But something inside him wants to show Frank exactly what he’s feeling.

Mikey’s looking into Frank’s eyes and he wonders if Frank can see. If he knows now. If he’s going to do something about it.

“Fuck, your pupils are huge,” Frank whispers, leaning in. Mikey can feel a puff of his breath against his face, he’s so close. 

“Yeah?” Mikey asks. He’s still waiting for Frank to laugh it off and leave. That’s probably what’s going to happen. But still, there’s a tiny spark of hope in Mikey’s heart that is growing bigger and bigger the closer Frank moves in. And he’s moving so slow, it’s frustrating as hell, and suddenly Mikey’s staring at Frank’s mouth. He can’t look away. Frank’s lips are pink, and then Frank licks his bottom lip a little, bringing a hint of shine.

“Tell me, Mikey,” Frank says. “I want to hear it.” What is he doing, he’s pulling back, those shiny pink lips are moving away and Mikey feels so let down that he can hardly understand what Frank is saying.

Then it hits him, there’s some synaptic connection, and Mikey opens his mouth to tell Frank everything. But nothing comes out, Mikey doesn’t have the words, and fuck, he’s going to miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime with Frank because his brain is mush.

“Mikey. It’s okay. It’s me,” Frank says softly. He smiles and it transforms his face, and Mikey is reminded again how far gone he is for him. He’s not just into Frank’s tattoos or his eyes or things so physical, Mikey is actually into everything to do with Frank. The way he laughs, the timbre of his voice, his stupid jokes that shouldn’t be funny but are, even the assholish things he says when he isn’t thinking. Mikey is completely in love with him, and now that they’re finally here, he can’t even say it because he’s got a giant boulder in his throat.

Mikey wipes his palms on his jeans -- they’re sweaty, fuck, he’s so nervous now. 

“You don’t have to be nervous,” Frank says. “You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to hear you say the words.” Then he’s leaning in again.

And Mikey’s words come back and instead of kissing, he’s mumbling against Frank’s mouth, “I want you, fuck, I want you, Frank...” It is only half the story, but it’s the most immediate truth.

Frank doesn’t say anything, just tilts his head and kisses him. Closed mouthed, soft kisses that have to be designed to drive Mikey crazy. Mikey moans, and that’s when Frank slips in with his tongue to lick the sound away. It’s fantastic. Mikey can’t get enough. He slides his hand around the nape of Frank’s neck and scoots closer, and Frank makes this sound that’s like a _growl_. 

Then Frank is on him. Pushing him down into the couch, kissing him hard and deep, touching Mikey like he owns him. Frank is like a drug, a boyshapedlovedrug, and Mikey doesn’t ever want this to end. 

Frank groans and does something magical, and then their shirts are in a heap on the floor. Mikey knows he really shouldn’t be doing this in Gerard’s living room, but it just feels so good, so immediate, and Mikey’s afraid to stop because then he might never get another chance at this. Frank drags his thumbs over Mikey’s nipples and Mikey has to shiver, an action that moves from the back of his neck to his toes.

“So responsive,” Frank murmurs, and bites Mikey’s bottom lip. Mikey gasps and blushes when his hips jerk wildly. Frank smiles indulgently and says, “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you.”

Mikey forces his eyes to stay open so he can take in every detail, his eyes raking over Frank’s tattooed skin with something like hunger. Yes. He’s hungry, starving for this, and he can’t remember ever not wanting this. Needing it. He tries to send psychic brotherly _stayoutstayout_ vibes to Gerard because the last thing he wants is for this to end in an embarrassing way.

“I told Gee to stay upstairs awhile,” Frank whispers, his breath hot against Mikey’s cheek. How did he know? Can he read Mikey’s thoughts? Mikey almost laughs hysterically. He doesn’t think so. If Frank knew just how intense Mikey’s feelings are, he’d run away. 

“Good,” Mikey manages, because Frank’s expecting an answer.

Frank looks at him seriously and shifts between his thighs, getting comfortable. “What’s on your mind?”

Mikey shakes his head. He answers truthfully. “Nothing but you.”

Another searching look where Frank’s eyes darken, and somehow -- wow, Mikey didn’t think it was possible -- he looks even more intense. Totally focused on Mikey. There’s no question what he’s thinking about, what he wants. “Good,” Frank says, his voice low, full of promises and sex.

“Let’s not stop again,” Mikey says, leaning up to capture Frank’s mouth in an inviting kiss.

Frank kisses back, deep and sloppy and perfect, so consuming that Mikey almost forgets he can breathe. It’s heady and slick and they’re both moaning and panting, and Mikey thinks it’s the very definition of perfection. Frank uses his teeth to scrape against Mikey’s lips and Mikey can feel them start to swell pink with sensation. It’s almost too much, and his dick is straining in his tight jeans.

Mikey breaks away at that thought, presses his forehead against Frank’s and pants harshly. 

“Thought you didn’t want to stop again,” Frank says breathlessly. Mikey looks at him and sees worry in his eyes.

“Sorry. Just...” He flushes even more, he can feel it move down his chest. “Really close.”

Frank’s eyes flash and he grins like a demon. “Not yet,” he whispers, and kisses Mikey’s lips so softly, so sweetly, that Mikey thinks he’s going to slow down. 

But then Frank’s hands are deftly unbuckling Mikey’s belt and he’s dragging his tongue down Mikey’s chest while he wiggles himself down into position. 

“Oh, fuck,” Mikey whispers, touching Frank’s shoulders and his neck and his cheek. 

“I was just gonna rub off with you,” Frank says to Mikey’s navel. Then his tongue drags along Mikey’s sparse trail of hair and he yanks Mikey’s jeans and underwear down. It’s an expert move; he does it without catching Mikey’s dick in the works. Mikey’s cock springs free, already wet and shiny at the tip. Frank’s still talking, saying, “But I can’t wait to taste you.”

Mikey bites his lip against a noise high in his throat. He’s afraid it might be something like a sob. Fuck, it _is_ a sob, because it comes out when Frank fits his mouth around Mikey’s cock and the wet heat of him surrounds sensitive flesh. Mikey’s fingers dig into Frank’s shoulders, and Frank moans. The vibration hits Mikey like a bolt of lightning and it’s too much, he’s too far gone, and he comes embarrassingly fast. Well, it would be embarrassing if Mikey could think. Frank uses his mouth and hand to work Mikey through it, and then...

“Shit, you’re just so _pretty_ ,” Frank says. Mikey opens his eyes and sees Frank looking at him like he’s … what? Something special, something precious. Also, something delicious to eat.

There’s a smear of come at the corner of Frank’s mouth, and Mikey makes himself sit up because he wants to taste it, taste himself on Frank’s lips. Frank lets him get close, lets him lick and moan and Frank has to be dying to come himself, but he’s not doing anything to get himself there.

“I want you to feel good, too,” Mikey whispers. 

“You have no idea how good I feel,” Frank whispers back. “Lie back down.”

Mikey frowns but obeys, and Frank gets a smirk on his face that just has to mean trouble. Then he’s unzipping his jeans and fuck, his dick is so pretty. Mikey’s never really thought of dicks as pretty until now. They’ve always just been dicks. But this is Frank, and somehow that just makes it perfect.

“Lick,” Frank says, holding his palm to Mikey’s mouth. Mikey frowns again but he’s getting used to doing as Frank says. He _likes_ doing what Frank says. 

When Frank’s hand is good and wet with Mikey’s spit, Frank pulls it away and wraps it around his cock. Oh. _Oh_. If Mikey thought he knew ‘pretty’, that was nothing compared to what it looks like now, Frank squeezing his cock from base to tip, up and down, while he stares down into Mikey’s eyes and Mikey is helpless to do anything but just stare back.

“I could’ve...” Mikey says weakly. Frank doesn’t have to do this alone. 

“Just touch me,” Frank says between his teeth. “I’m gonna come all over you.”

For a moment, Mikey forgets how to make air get to his lungs. He’s frozen as the idea of Frank striping him with come settles in his brain. It’s a good image, a wonderful image, almost too powerful for words.

“That okay?” Frank asks, but it’s barely a question because he’s smirking like he already knows exactly how Mikey feels about that.

Mikey nods quickly and Frank jerks his hips and strokes faster, and Mikey touches him, touches his hips and thighs and up to the underside of Frank’s balls. 

“Fuck, Mikeyway, yeah,” Frank pants, and then hot spurts of semen hit Mikey’s stomach and chest. Mikey’s watching Frank’s face, though, his half-closed eyes and his open mouth and the intense wrinkle on his forehead. He looks like he does when he’s singing at a show, only _more_ , and Mikey saves the picture in his mind for later.

Then Mikey looks down at himself and sees all the come that’s cooling on his skin, and his dick twitches, trying to fill again. Mikey’s never been so utterly satisfied. He looks at Frank, who’s still panting a little and moving down to kiss him, and he looks pretty happy, too.

“Dude, you’re gonna need a shower,” Frank slurs against Mikey’s mouth. 

“You think?” Mikey says, raising an eyebrow.

“Smart-ass,” Frank says. And it’s like always, only with sweat and come, and Mikey’s pretty sure it couldn’t possibly get better.

“We should probably move this to someone else’s house,” Mikey says. Tentatively, because there’s a tiny, tiny part of his brain saying this is too good to be true.

“Mine’s closer,” Frank says. He sounds confident in a lazy, post-coital way. It’s sexy in a whole new light.

* * *

“So what did you tell him?” Mikey finally asks Gerard, when it’s been a couple of days and Mikey and Frank have finally come up for air.

“Nothing. You know, Frank’s a pretty astute guy,” Gerard says. He sounds so innocent that Mikey knows he’s _got_ to be lying. 

“You had to have dropped a hint or a dozen,” Mikey says. 

“Nope,” Gerard says. “He probably just picked up on you the way I did. Hell, it’s not like he doesn’t know you almost as well as I do.”

“I don’t believe you,” Mikey mutters. But then his phone makes a blipping sound and he looks down. Text from Frank. Mikey grins. “I have to go. But we’ll talk about this later.”

Gerard is smiling when he says, “Sure. Have fun sexing Frank.”

Mikey tries rolling his eyes and looking annoyed, but he can’t help the smile that twitches his lips. “I will.”

**Author's Note:**

> many many thanks to sperrywink, who beta read and made this so much better than it was in first draft form.


End file.
